Inner Dialogue

Covey uses the term "emotional bank account" to describe the amount of trust that has been built up in a relationship. Trust is a critical factor in the survival of a relationship. It is possible to make deposits or take withdrawls from the account. As I look back over the last several years, I realize that my bank account was overdrawn because I wasn't getting many deposits, especially at home. That made it hard for me to make deposits in the accounts of those I cared about around me, most importantly, my children. When I accepted that I would have to find deposits from other sources, my friends, I started becoming stronger.

Stephen Covey describes 6 major ways of making deposits on the Emotional Bank Account:

• understanding the individual;


• attending to little things;


• keeping commitments;


• clarifying expectations;


• showing personal integrity;


• apologizing sincerely when you make a "withdrawal".

Withdrawls are taken by many things, including:

• showing discourtesy;


• disrespect;


• overreacting;


• betraying trust;


• not honoring commitments;


• threatening.

I feel like I am in a place now where I can start making deposits into the accounts of my friends and family. It's been a long year of regeneration, and in some places, I have withdrawn far too much from those I love. Time to pay back.