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Five Languages of Love

I have a book called the The Five Languages of Love and it talks about different ways people feel love and express love. Sometimes what feels like a loving gesture from one person isn't interpreted that way by another because of different love languages. Author Gary Chapman categorizes them as:

1) words of affirmation - Telling your partner how you appreciate them, encouraging them, and general words of praise and acceptance all show your love.

2) quality time - Refers to spending time together as a couple. People who have this as their love language feel loved when they are taken out on special dates, when their spouse clears the calendar for them, or when the television is turned off in order to have a conversation.

2) physical touch - A simple touch on the arm, hug or backrub will convey your love to them.

3) acts of service - they will appreciate your help more than anything. Give them a night off from cooking or other household chores. Repair that leaky faucet. Help them with the yard work. Prepare them a nice lunch to take to work.

4) receiving gifts - gifts are not simply material objects -- they are expressions of your love.

I placed the five languages in what I think is my prefered order above. Quality time and physical touch are pretty close in my book, so I placed them as tied. I love to give gifts and often will pick up a book or something if I see it for a friend just because I know they will enjoy it. I do like getting gifts, but the ones that mean the most to me are the ones where the giver shares a part of themselves, or finds something special that they know I will like, maybe a book, or a candle, or a link for my bracelet that holds special meaning. I'm just not interested in the Lexus with a big red bow on top. I don't wear a lot of jewelry. Those sorts of things aren't important to me.

So what speaks to my love languages?

  • a letter written from the heart

  • a poem set to music

  • an arm around me as we sit in a movie, or in church, or walk down the street

  • fingers lightly stroking my hair

  • planning a fun night out, making all of the arrangements, especially when I've had a tough day

  • interest in my job, in my friends, in my dreams and hopes for the future

  • coming up behind me with a gentle kiss to the back of my neck

  • taking my hand as we hike in the woods, or watch tv, walk in the park

A letter from the heart would mean more to me than diamonds or gold.

Posted by Debby on January 7, 2005 07:32 AM
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Comments

Our church did a series on this a while back...

Posted by: John | January 19, 2005 08:07 PM

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