Inner Dialogue

Little children sing that song across the world, in many different languages, at Sunday Primary meetings, at church activities, during presentations and programs, as part of Family Home Evenings. It's a big deal, going to the temple. Even if you don't believe in the ordinances, you have to respect the symbolism. Being worthy of holding a temple recommend means you have entered into a sacred covenant with God, having faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, and a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer. You vow to be honest in your dealings with your fellow man, to live a chaste and moral life, and to strive always to live in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel. You make a promise to be a family forever to the one that you love, before God. It really is an ideal picture of how religion should be... one that clashes directly with the reality of how it actually is.

So why does this "sealing clearance" thing bother me, even though I don't anticipate ever stepping foot inside a temple in this lifetime again? What do I care? I guess all those ideals are something I still take seriously, despite disenchantment with the trappings of the ceremonies that surrounds them. To get a recommend, you have to interview with your bishop and with your stake president, responding to a series of questions that are used to determine your worthiness to enter into the House of the Lord. I've been through that process many times. One question in particular asks "Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the church?" Church leaders generally consider former spouses as part of ones extended family and a question is even asked about being current in financial and other obligations to a former spouse and children.

I really don't wish my ex any harm. I really do sincerely want him to find fulfillment, happiness, and passion in his life. But I know for a fact that there is no way he can honestly respond to these questions and still qualify for a recommend... but apparently he has one and has pulled the wool over the eyes of his local church leaders. It is this false profession of faith that aggravates me the most because this is the example he is teaching our children... that it is ok to selectively apply gospel principles in ways that you choose as long as you check off all the right boxes and know how to respond to the questions correctly... never mind what is right or true. When asked about this once, he actually told me that he does believe in forgiveness, in being kind and honest with his fellow man, and all of the other things you are taught in Sunday school... except when it applies to me. Church leaders have made it quite clear that it's an all or nothing proposition, that you can't just selectively decide who you show grace to, but in his mind, he has rationalized this away, and is proceeding ahead with plans for another temple marriage. That is just wrong.