Inner Dialogue

There has been some detail planning, although not enough for my liking. Lots of emails explaining to various folks from out of state that the weather in the desert part of their trip is going to be a lot different than the weather in the beach part of their trip... and setting up itineraries so that all of the major parties know where everyone else will be and when. There's been shopping for major items needed for the beach part of the wedding and for the camping part of things, as well as thinking about budgeting and how long this will all take to pay off. Somewhere in there was dealing with a little bit of indirect relationship drama with #1 son and his girlfriend that may necessitate us picking him up from the airport (although the current report is that she is going to do it after all), news about my sister's family that makes me very sad, helping my daughter's best friend think through some college options, and editing a very moving story that will hopefully help a very special person realize her dreams.

Next up is trying to figure out a reasonably simple menu for 7 days for 30+ vegetarian, lactose/soy intolerant, wheat allergic, steak & potatoes, borderline diabetics. My best friend sent me an awesome recipe for omelets in a ziploc bag. That's going to be on the camping menu for sure! We are juggling car issues among several vehicles (some minor, some major) and trying to make sure the 5th wheel is all ready to roll by camping time (thanks to Kym & Shyanne at least it's clean inside now!). We are trying to decide what to do after the wedding (a honeymoon? what a concept!) and have several options including just staying home because the kids all start school the following Monday (school clothes, school supplies, school ice cream social) and it would be nice to spend a little quiet time with just them for a few days before classes, homework, dance lessons, karate, and other activities swing into full gear.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I am teaching a class and have 3 more classes to submit grades for... by the end of next week? I did manage to get my travel receipts in order and submitted to the college (while uploading a backlog of several hundred pictures to Flickr), the paperwork finished (mostly) for an adjunct gig I am picking up, and a basic outline of the order of things for the ceremony. I got all giddy over iPhone Apps and downloaded way too many of them to play with because I am always intrigued with the way technology can be extended and mashed up to create new and innovative applications. I can now control iTunes on my Mac, keep track of my car mileage, expenses, and maintenance, and pop bubble wrap with my iPhone. How cool is that? I squeezed in there somehow a day in the mountains enjoying meadows of wildflowers, an evening at the movies laughing at the (not so) superhero antics of Hancock, and an early morning walk to the mailbox under an phenomenally blue desert sky... all hand-in-hand with the man who is the cause of most of this insanity (i LOVE you honey!).

This happens to be PMS week so I keep telling myself that it's just hormones and this too shall pass, while resisting the urge to ball up in a corner and cry or just say screw it all. I know that only lasts a day or two (it just happens to be THIS day or two) and my amazing fiance' happened to remember that it was upcoming (all by himself) so he's being extra nice. Did I mention he was amazing? What man on this planet keeps track of his partner's cycle and makes adjustments in his behavior because of that? He makes a tremendous effort to maintain relationships with people that don't always reciprocate and definitely don't appreciate... but he does it anyhow because it's the right thing to do. I have a lot to learn there from him... did I mention he was amazing?

My goal is to get a lot of the loose ends tied by this weekend... grading, housework, details... so I can spend some time next week relaxed and reflecting. I made phone calls this morning, took care of some business, ran errands around town, and renewed my gym locker for a year (guess I should use it now). This afternoon, I got to putter around in my garden a bit, modify the mister system on the goats, and watch the crazy, poly-linguistic bird make a fool of himself (no idea why the dogs haven't eaten him yet other than the fact that he speaks their language now). I am in business mode and mostly on tract to get done what needs to be done, while somehow managing to find a little time for myself and my beloved (even if that is never enough). That, in and of itself, is amazing.

I am determined to protect my need for space and time, and my desire to make the next few weeks a fun and memorable experience for all those involved, especially for us. Now that the big pieces are in place, I can have fun with the details. This is the part I like... coming up with ideas for making this a really cool experience that we will all remember. I'm sliding into a zen frame of mind where not much can fluster me at this point (even if there is one MAJOR detail that could cause a significant problem... but it looks like that might be finalized this week) and where I am just having fun with all of the planning and ideas. I can't wait until the big girls arrive so we can play with makeup, clothes, and hair (HAIR! arghhh! what to do with my out of control curly hair? ok... zen... breathe in... breathe out... hats are in style again, aren't they?).

It's only been thirteen days? Whatever have I done with all that time? j/k